by Shon Faye
Paperback, £12.99
Right from the first chapter of this insightful and engaging memoir and investigation into the politics of love, Faye made me question how I view the topic. Her writing is both rigorously researched and entertaining – Love in Exile is a clever analysis of how political and social influences can be damaging to individuals and an unpretentious, honest reflection on Faye’s relationships with others and herself.
Faye leaves no kind of love unexamined; this is as much a book about friendship, family, and self-love as it is about romance. I found her discussion of addiction particularly interesting – she highlights the similarities between romantic obsession and addiction and made me think about how many of us use romantic love to fill gaps in our lives. She describes how romantic partners and nuclear families have replaced religion and wider community in the secular and individualist Western world, which has damaging effects. Her analyses of both her own past and historical attitudes to relationships are methodical and engaging. Faye deftly demonstrates how politicised love is: although we see relationships as a personal matter, our love lives are heavily influenced by popular culture, capitalist marketing, and the state.
I would highly recommend Love in Exile to anyone who feels like they are doing love ‘wrong’, and everyone who is trying to understand their relationships with others. Faye’s insights are going to stay with me for a long time, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
Review by Jamie