by K Patrick
In reflective, introverted prose, both lyrical and concise, K. Patrick tells the story of an unnamed, Australian 22-year-old working as a matron in an all-girl boarding school over the course of a warm English summer.
Despite the setting, the focus is on the adults, instead of the students in this novel. The pace is slow as we follow the intimate details of the character’s obsession with and desire for the headmaster’s wife (Mrs. S), interspersed with vignettes from school life (the annual play, the girls sneaking out at night, the preparations for a dance).
The main character is caught in the contradiction between trying to disappear within under the glaring sun, wanting to be rid of their body and their name, and yet coming into themself through their relationship with Mrs S. Often unable to put into words who they are, or to find pleasure in their life, they become eloquent only when thinking of the headmaster’s wife.
This is a book about the intensity of a crush when you are young and you find someone you want to lose yourself in, but also about how a relationship with someone can reveal you to yourself. Yet, although Mrs. S brings out the main character’s vulnerability she also holds up a mirror that reflects a completely different view of the world.
The main character on the one hand exists in the world within their queerness (physical and social – the stricture of the binder around their chest, the names they are called, the looks they get, the relationships they have lost and the patriarchal norms they have long stopped trying to attain). Mrs. S, on the other hand, embodies heterosexuality, not just because she has been married to a man she met in university for the past 15 years, but also because she preserves and protects the heteronormative order ruling over the boarding school and its students (and the rest of society).
I really enjoyed exploring this microcosm (the main character’s inner life) within a microcosm (the boarding school) and will be looking forward to K. Patrick’s next work of fiction.